The Ad Vantage

Mark is married with two kids and has lived in his house in Pacific Heights for twenty-five years. He’s a CPA, and, fortunately, his income has not fallen off appreciably during this horrible economic time.

He is not generally extravagant in his spending, but he can buy what he wants or needs. He’s a prototypical consumer.

Everybody is trying to sell things to Mark. They approach him indifferent ways. The most effective way to reach consumers these days is the Internet, which has drastically changed the way products are marketed and advertised. Every time Mark goes to his inbox, he sees a long list of e-mails from companies trying to sell him something. Some of the brief product descriptions are enticing. Some even have his name in the subject box: “Mark, a 2% fixed rate mortgage for 60 years.” Mark pictures someone sitting at a computer in a windowless room of an ad agency composing concise phrases for the subject box of each e-mail, which is broadcast to thousands of consumers. It’s got to be something so irresistible that the target will be compelled to click and see the entire ad. Something like, “ten-week cruise for $3.50” or “Armani at 95% off.”

It’s a nuisance to receive all those commercial e-mails, but at least you can delete them without reading them. (Mark does pause on the ads promising him total sexual satisfaction.) Besides, Mark always has a vague feeling that if he clicks on an unfamiliar ad, a hacker from Turkmenistan will take over his computer and steal his identity, and he will never be able to get a credit card again. So he deletes, but not before casually mentioning to a co-worker, “God, I was away for one day and I came back to 180 e-mails.”

Advertising in newspapers is still around, but its prevalence and impact have declined. When Mark opens the SF Chron he looks briefly at the ads in the margins and is comforted to read about another rug store with an unbelievable “closing sale” and the incredible bargain he can get on a digital rice cooker if he also buys a recliner. Some of the big guys, like Macy’s, still take out full page ads, but by now Mark is inured to the relentless announcements of major sales. (Mark is convinced that the Macy’s semi-annual furniture sale takes place four times a year.)

But Mark does have a couple of soft spots. He can’t resist the glossy inserts in the Sunday paper. He pores over them, looking for deals. He finds the Best Buy insert touting a 320GB 2.5” FreeAgent portable hard drive for $99.99–a saving of $54! Is this good? Can Mark use a portable hard drive? He has no idea why one would want one, but it does sound like a helluva deal. Or how about the D-Link RangeBooster N Dual-Band Router for only $79.99.Awfully hard to pass up.

Mark’s other soft spot is the heavy envelope that arrives with about twenty-five ad cards containing coupons. The package is put together by ValPak and similar outfits. There are lots of automotive deals: $15 off smog inspection, $20 off lube job. Of course, when you show up with your coupon, the mechanic tells you that your car will fall apart on the way home unless you have a $4,000 transmission job.

There are also fabulous deals on Chinese restaurants. If you are willing to drive forty-five minutes to San Anselmo, you can get a free bowl of vegetarian hot-and-sour soup, or a free entrée with the order of any two full-priced entrées (coupon good only at lunch on every other Tuesday).

Mark leafs through the offers. The discount on chimney sweeping is so enticing, but Mark knows what will happen. The guy will come out and dolefully report that the gunk in the chimney is so impacted that the entire chimney must be replaced at a cost which precludes Mark from sending his kids to private school. Similarly, the discounts for wall coverings, window replacement, stucco service, and painting give no firm regular prices for particular jobs. They simply say, “$100 off patio door” or “$500 off any job over $2,500.” The merchant can quote any number, and Mark would have no idea whether he’s saving money or not.

Despite his misgivings, Mark decides to take advantage of one of the offers. He calls one of the carpet cleaning services and says he wants to use the coupon for carpet cleaning of five rooms and hallway for $139.95. A guy comes out and surveys the rooms Mark has designated. “Well, sir,” he says, “we will have to charge you for each piece of furniture we have to move, and there’s a separate charge for stairs, and that little alcove counts as a separate room. Also, if you want the super-deep cleaning with special cleaning agents, that will increase the cost. It’s something we strongly recommend.” Mark smiles. He should have known better.

Asher Rubin refuses to buyanything, fearful that he’s being taken. His wife has no such compunction andlikes to pay retail plus ten percent. When pushed, Asher hires teenagers to docomplex electrical work.