31 Do's & Don'ts

As the Nob Hill Gazette celebrates its 31st anniversary, we decided to do what we do best: celebrate you looking so good, or at least providing the parameters to ensure that you do! To make sure you’re putting your most debonair foot forward—so you can celebrate stylishly and with a masculine graciousness—presented here are thirty-one guidelines on how to be a modern gentleman.

   Do get a good tailor: Nine times out of ten, a suit straight off the rack will need some tailoring, which is why you have to get a tailor you trust. Not only will s/he help with your suits, but a tailor can also hem and cut clothes so that they fit perfectly. Forget dogs, a reliable tailor can be a man’s best friend.

   Don’t wear square-toed shoes … or curled up elf-like pointy shoes, for that matter: Enough said.

   Do remove your hat when entering a building: This is an age-old but dying practice that needs to be reincarnated.

   Don’t go overboard with your hats: A fedora, paperboy cap, or other jaunty pieces of headwear can make you look like a Guys and Dolls cast member. Wear these with extreme caution.

   Do put some Vs in your wardrobe: White V-neck T shirts are the most versatile pieces of clothing ever invented. Opt for good ol’ inexpensive standbys like Jockey or Calvin Klein. They can be dressed up, down and all around, and they are ten times better than having a collection of obnoxiously ironic and screen-print tees.

   Don’t settle for mediocre denim: If you can’t choose which brand to buy amongst the thousands, Levi’s is always a failsafe. Avoid extravagantly ripped and deconstructed denim. You can always make stuff like that at arts-and-crafts camp.

   Do wear cologne: But remember—the scent you choose shouldn’t enter a room before you. One or two squirts on your chest should do.

   Don’t be caught with foul breath and chapped lips: Always carry lip balm (I prefer Burt’s Bees Beeswax Lip Balm). Gum is good, but smacking while talking isn’t exactly the best way to make a good impression. I always have some Listerine Strips in my pocket, but if those are too intense, get curiously strong with Altoids.

   Do shave with care: Instead of janky disposable razors, use the more efficient Mach 3 razor. If you’re feeling dandy, get a shaving set from The Art of Shaving—which includes a fancy badger brush.

   Don’t strip your eyebrows: Extremely manicured eyebrows can make you have a permanent look of shock on your face. Trim and preen your brows with tremendous discretion.

   Do have some male modesty: When wearing a button-down shirt, one button undone is good, two is okay, but anything three or beyond is too much. It’s nice to expose some chest, but leave the plunging neckline to Tom Jones.

   Don’t wear flip-flops with jeans: Unless you’re a frat boy going to a kegger, please avoid this practice.

   Do put your wallet on a diet: If your wallet is the size of a brick, then it’s probably time to limit its consumption. There’s no need to save all those receipts; you shouldn’t be carrying more than a couple of credit cards and your driver’s license.

   Don’t use a purse: It’s always good to have a man bag, but when you start carrying totes that look like the Marc Jacobs Stam bag, you need to rethink your choice of murse.

    Do have at least one cashmere item in your wardrobe: You’ll thank me later.

   Don’t wear running shoes if you’re not running: Workout shoes are reserved for the gym and other athletic purposes. Opt for some sneakers like Jack Purcell Converse if you are going to wear casual shoes for a day out.

     Do be a courteous gym goer: Wipe down weight machines and cardio equipment after using it. No one wants to sit in a puddle of your workout sweat. And please, use deodorant at all times.

     Don’t look like Mr. T: Jewelry for men can be stylish if executed correctly. A tie bar, cufflinks, an understated ring—these all work. But too much bling will make you look like a fool that people pity.

       Do invest in a nice coat: The cooler seasons warrant a quality coat or jacket. If you’re feeling rock and roll, a John Varvatos leather jacket can sing. A finely tailored topcoat works for Financial District types, and a Burberry trench coat is a sartorial must-have for everybody.

       Don’t let a lady do all the work: When entering a building, the chivalrous thing to do is open a door for a lady, and let her enter first. With a revolving door, a gentleman should enter first and push the door while the lady follows.

   Do know how to enter a cab: If you and your lady friend hail a cab, make sure you enter the cab first so that the woman doesn’t have to slide over to make room for you.

   Don’t be the obnoxious cell phone guy: Avoid talking on your cell phone in confined areas, such as busses or while waiting in line for your morning latte. No one wants to hear your business; yes, I know it’s surprising, but they don’t care. In fact, this rule pertains to everyone. It’s just plain rude.

       Do give love to mom and dad: Call your parents at least once a week—just don’t do it while paying for your groceries at Whole Foods.

     Don’t spit in public: This is a given.

    Do practice good email etiquette: Save your LOLs and smiley face emoticons for chats with your buddies. And, yes, proper grammar (and—do I even need to say it?—correct spelling!) is a must here, too. Professionalism doesn’t fly the coop just because you’re working in the seemingly more casual realm of internet communication.

     Don’t be a seat hog: If you are on a crowded bus or waiting area and a lady walks in, give up your seat for her. You’ll score chivalry points and possibly a phone number. (Side note here, gents: give up your seat for someone who needs it more than you, male or female, and the ladies will notice, too.)

   Do be a newsworthy man: It always pays to be a cultured gentleman. Keep up to date with news via a variety of news publications. A man who is well read in all aspects of news and pop culture is always a sought-out source of good conversation.

   Don’t eat before everyone else: If you’re at a group dinner and you are the first to get your food, wait until everyone else has their food before you sink your teeth into your steak—even if you’re hungry. It’s better to be known as “the guy whose stomach was growling” than “the guy who inhaled his food before anyone else even saw theirs.”

   Do not stress about being forgetful: If you can’t remember someone’s name, just politely ask. Don’t agonize and constantly apologize for it. Too many apologies can become self-centered—not to mention irritating.

   Don’t have a wandering eye: Whether in a social or business setting, always make eye contact when you are having a conversation. Shifty eyes make you look inattentive, and kind of creepy.

 

Do follow all these rules…and you’ll be the epitome of the modern gentleman.

Dino-Ray Ramos is a freelance fashion and entertainment writer. When he isn't enlightening young artistic minds at the Academy of Art University as a journalism instructor, you can enjoy his playfully disgruntled discourse on his personal blog, "the finer dandy" (blog.dinoray.com).