What would mother dearest say to pumping your face with toxins? Could a spoonful of cod liver oil be better than Botox? We debunk age-old beauty wisdom with skin therapist, chemist, and author of The Yoga Facelift, Marie-Véronique Nadeau.

Marie-Véronique Nadeau with her “lab.”

Mention natural antiaging, and Marie’s brows raise; she gives an ear to ear grin thanks to being one hundred percent Botox and filler-free. At age sixty-one, she epitomizes the groovy Berkeley chick: one part sensualist, one part earth mother, and one part mad scientist. She is full of fun facts on beauty—Cleopatra bathed in a soupcon of pregnant mare’s pee, the ancient precursor to estrogen therapy, Premarin. Marie, a karmic grande dame, invited me to her modern apothecary located in the eco-chic neighborhood of Berkeley’s Fourth Street to discuss beauty rituals passed down from well-meaning mothers to their embattled daughters.

Myth #1: Cold cream: the La Mer of the grandmother set?
Marie reveals that pot of mystery sludge beloved by my grandmother is a crude mixture of wax, water, and rubbing alcohol, an inexpensive preservative. Poor Puo-puo (grandma), bless her soul, didn’t know that the wax was dulling her skin and the alcohol drying it out.

You’re better off with the original formula, lard and water. But before you repurpose those pancetta drippings, beauty formulas have come a long way employing refined oils with better absorption and efficacy. Essential fatty acids like Omega 3, 6 and 9, sometimes known by their trendy name as good fats, not only reduce risk of heart disease, but also accelerate the repair of cells and create a protective lipid barrier. Marie has found oil from acai, black raspberry seeds, and blackberry seeds to have similar moisturizing and anti-oxidant properties without the greasiness of a quarter pounder with cheese.

Myth #2: Squeaky cleanliness is next to godliness

Mom meant well but stripping your face’s natural oils with products like peroxide, alcohol, and sulfates is better left for disinfecting your kitchen counter. A gentle cleanser with lactic acid exfoliates and softens without harsh suds; try Marie’s Jade Cleanser.  The lactic acid also found in cream makes it a great toner. Marie says not to cry over spilled milk, but dab it on your face.

Myth #3: Tea for puffy eyes

Puo-puo loved placing Lipton tea bags from her morning breakfast on her eyes, while watching “I Love Lucy” and babysitting my sisters and me. Marie does corroborate my grandmother’s remedy: tea has anti-inflammatory properties.

A similar beauty trick, and one Marie says has results for dark eye circles is potato juice, which contains a brightening enzyme: catecholase. Here’s a handy at-home treatment: Grate a potato to let out the juice. Then, take two cotton balls and soak up the liquid. Apply directly on your eyes for about half an hour, and you’ll look like you had a full night’s rest.

Myth #4: The reason for curfews: beauty sleep
Faking your beauty sleep is a naughty thing to do. Your mother was right about getting a proper night’s sleep, which most people think is equivalent to eight hours. That amount is actually not enough: nine to ten hours a night guarantees a well-rested body, says Marie. Melatonin, a hormone and potent antioxidant that repairs the skin and body, is only produced by the pineal gland while you are sleeping. If you’re running a shut-eye deficit, you not only forego its antiaging benefits, but you produce more cortisol (a.k.a. the stress hormone), which reeks havoc on your body and gives you paunches, dull skin, and wrinkles.

Myth #5: Witches and hags were once young ladies who made faces
This all-time favorite lecture among mothers also inspired the nineteenth century beauty product, Frownies: adhesive pads that daughters were forced to stick on their faces so they wouldn’t scowl or scrunch. Marie vouches for this primitive form of Botox. Awareness of your facial expressions and contortions prevent wrinkles from forming. A strip of duct or scotch tape right between the eyes works just as well to tell your forehead to be cool and relax.

As for Botox users, Marie would say shame on you if she were not the vivacious free spirit that she is. Instead, she appeals to us with scientific research and New Age wisdom: “The facial muscles we paralyze with Botox actually map to the back of our brains. When people have them paralyzed their brain loses that function to feel. You are not just freezing your face.”

So eat up, lovelies: Marie’s vast knowledge doesn’t come with a heaping of maternal-inflicted guilt. The dermal do-gooder even forgives the cardinal sins of modern-day beauty. “If you want to soak up the sun or partake of occasional naughty behavior, I say why not? Enjoy life. It keeps you young.”

Cheryl Locke is hard at work producing one eighty magazine with the students at the Academy of Art University.