It’s that time of year—the evidence mounts: diets and exercise regimes are stuffed in a drawer, long forsaken; unread books clutter the bedside table. Desperate pledges to unplug are ignored and abandoned. Yikes! What’s a well-meaning, hard-working, self-improving grown-up to do?
Make a resolution.
Jan Yanehiro charms us with her family’s New Year ritual. From all corners of the world, she and her three children reunite every January 1st and map out the next year’s goals, sharing a feast of sweet, black beans called kuromame. Jan explains that the Japanese believe this bean ensures “good health, prosperity, and good things throughout the New Year.” If the clan can’t gather, this great mom sends the treats to them.
“I’m going to somehow find a way to give myself some downtime,” Dede Wilsey pledges for the coming year—and when she says it, she means it. Her word to herself is a promise made for keeps.
One forward thinking San Franciscan got a head start on everyone this year. According to Pamela Deikel, she made changes in her life months ago, so there’s no need to do so on January 1. Her resolution is: “I made a resolution to not make a New Year’s resolution.”
Ann Moller Caen is consistent. Every year she makes the same two promises. The first is to get one drawer in the house into ship-shape each week. This plan starts out strong, but gradually loses steam. Her second resolution has more staying power. Ann says, “I swear I will see all my friends at least once in the year.” This goal keeps Ann moving.
“I have to admit, after countless years, I have never being able to keep a resolution,” says Ray ‘Scotty’ Morris, but after this writer’s phone call, he now claims to have new hope. “When I eat a meal and I’m full, instead of cleaning the plate, as my mother taught me, I’m going to leave the rest of the food and throw it out. I can do this!” Scotty asserts, and just to prove it, he plans to give your scribe a follow-up report at year’s end.
Less is more, seems to be Ken Paige’s philosophy. He admits, “At my age I don’t wait to make annual resolutions—I make them each morning. Sometimes they are momentous thoughts of charity and world peace, but most mornings I resolve to just get out of bed.”
Anne Marie Massocca takes the long view. She looks at the New Year as a chance to reflect upon “where I’ve been; what I’d like to see.” She sets priorities, and then breaks those down into action steps. “What do I care about?” she asks. “How will I move forward?”
Here’s a reality check from Tad Taube. “Most resolutions,” he states, “fall into the category of personal health and appearance: lose weight, exercise, and cut down on the booze and smoking. The real story is the inevitable failure of these resolutions and their repetition in the ensuing year!”
On a more optimistic note, Taffy Schwabacher tells us, “Every year, each member of our family writes a letter to himself or herself. We seal the letter, and a year later, open it around the same time.” The letters set goals in the spiritual, emotional, or educational realms—sharing is optional. “It’s always interesting to see where you are a year later,” she says.
Several San Franciscans who were queried told us that they “don’t do resolutions,” including Vanessa Getty. Barbara and chief justice Ron George state, “We make and ignore resolutions all year long—just not on New Year’s!” Sako Fisher prefers to reflect on the year that ended, syncing her thinking “with what I’m looking forward to in the coming year.” Paula West would rather go with the flow, saying she has learned that life “brings us new discoveries, lessons, people, and triumphs.” Judge Ina Gyemant doesn’t typically make resolutions, because, she says, “I don’t usually keep them.” If, however, she were to set a goal, it would be “to have more fun.” And Kathleen Sullivan Alioto has a specific plan for that. “I’d like to learn to tango,” she says.
Charlotte Mailliard Shultz puts a twist on once-a-year-resolutions—she makes them daily. Some of her goals for next year include more time for friends, Pilates, and early morning walks. The big-time resolution—the one she continually makes all year long—is to cut back on her activities. “Does it work?” she asks. “No.”
Stress is the source of all of Merla Zellerbach’s “minor ailments and frustrations,” and in 2012, her primary goal is to avoid it. Her second challenge is to skip those large ladies’ lunches. Merla says, “By the time you dress up, drive somewhere, and park, the whole day is gone.” And with that newfound time, she plans to accomplish goal number three: “Write more.” As if this isn’t enough, in the coming year Merla wants to “spread the word” about Compassion & Choices, a nonprofit with the mission of alleviating suffering at the end of life.
Lisa Goldman has an addiction. Her resolution story inspires. She says, “I am addicted to USC. That’s the first step in my personal program; acknowledging that I am powerless in the face of anything Trojan. Whenever I see someone walking down the sidewalk wearing a USC sweatshirt, I stick my head out of the car and yell, ‘Fight On’. This spring my daughter will graduate from USC, so there might be two of us honking at any car with a bumper sticker that invokes ‘The Spirit of Troy’. So this New Year, I am making a resolution. I solemnly resolve that I will sit on my inner Trojan and only say ‘Fight On’ if I am refereeing a boxing match.
“And I hope that my resolution lasts as long as the ones I make every year—at least five minutes!”
We’ve reached the end of our roundup of resolutions. Some are grand, some are humble. The next chapter is up to you. Whip out paper and pen, if you desire. Make a promise you can keep. There’s no magic number or formula to follow. Make your goal simple, bold, elegant, or sweet. Make a pledge to something you believe in. Keep that written resolution in plain view and—pinky swear! Keep at it.
Susan Moldaw graduated from Wesleyan University and recently completed a Masters in Gerontology. She’s currently working in the field of spiritual care. Her byline has appeared in Narrative Magazine. She is waiting for her unpublished first novel to be discovered.
